Conflicted about this one
Every time I don't love a Tarryn Fisher book I feel guilty, I must say. At first I thought of not leaving a review, but this is what I do for a hobby, I blog, and therefore I can't not be honest about it. I'm a PLN and that's why I feel guilty. I love Tarryn and her books, she's one of my favorite authors ever and will always continue to read her books with the same enthusiasm. I'll always get excited when we're announced a new TF is coming out, I'm sure of that.
Now to the point: I liked this book as the personal journey of inner growth that Tarryn did herself, I actually love it in that sense. But I didn't love it as literature itself. I believe I like Tarryn's writing more when she's writing darker stories. Mud Vein and Marrow are still on the top for me. I love the writing style of those ones. Mud Vein is, for me, the better written, most poetical book of hers. And Marrow has a pace so accurately written I could cry. Just perfect. I can't say the same about AWNAP. It came out as a bit informal and not during the times that it needed to be informal given the characters points of view, but during the rest of the narration and I usually enjoy a poetical language a bit more. There were, either how, some passages and phrases that I completely love! I secondly couldn't connect with so many inner monologues going on. I believe more in show rather than tell and I know that she does as well, so this confused me as well.
Regarding the characters, I have to say that I had a hard time connecting with them, I believe I did it almost at the end, but it was too late for me to fall head over heels for them. It's not that I didn't like their flaws (they were really flawed characters and I was totally okay with that, we're humans, right? Keep it real), but I just couldn't personally connect enough to fall in love with them. I did felt sad about them many times, but as they wrote their paths, not so much. However, I did love and fangirled about the ending and the previous parts that lead to that. I think that part three was my favourite from the book. I believe Yara getting a grip of her life was a breath of fresh air. Let's say I was kind of mad at her during the other parts of the book because, just as her friend said to her, I always believed she was putting excuses not to take responsibility for her existence and grew the ovaries to go after what she wanted. So I did enjoy her development. I liked David sometimes, didn't agree with him some others. I disliked Petra at first, until I started disliking David instead. I maybe liked Ferdinand more than the others even when we didn't get to know a lot about him.
Regarding the plot I do remember we were told it was going to be TO styled, and I liked it even though I couldn't quite connect with the characters for a long part of the book. Either how the third part of it made the book worthy for me.
Finally, though I'm on the minority with this book, I have to say that I do know why everyone loves this, many people needed a story like this as a wake up call and I'm glad they're feeling healed by it. The amazing thing about Tarryn is what she causes with her writing and though she didn't do it for me this time she did it for lots. So I did like the background of the story and the message it left.
I'll leave you here with my favourite quotes now:
° I'm in love with cities, all of them. Each one had their own thing going on, a unique spice they add to the world, but they all had one thing in common: energy.
° Beauty was deceiving in the same way credit cards were.
° Relentless. There's something about a relentless man. You couldn't ignore them. If they asked long enough, eventually they wore you down. Women looked for that, persistent interest. An investor. We were, in ourselves, an entire universe.
° That was the thing about artists, they didn't often think of you. Their energy had a narrow focus, a spotlight on their art... their insecurities... the unfairness of the world.
° How often do we lie to ourselves and say we don't care about something when we do?
° There's no moving on when you're truly in love. You try and you keep trying, but that love is a stain in your life. It's just not that easy.
° It's the simple things that tell the most about our complexities.
° Someone should take you as you are, not have and agenda for how they want to change you.
° David was hesitant to talk about himself, he preferred to listen. To me, that was the mark of a true artist -someone who gathered instead of took.
° Men had a thing for female vulnerability. They wanted to be their hero.
° You can't just threaten kids with their futures when they don't understand the gravity of time.
° The spectrums of pain were meant to be felt and they were beautiful in their own way because they caused change.
° When you set out to find someone, you don't stop until you do. And then you have to deal with what you find.
° Love was a leap of faith, and love was just a word until someone gave it definition.
° It's not true what they say, that you can only give your heart away once. That's the philosophy of the young. The old know better, they know it's not your heart that you give away, but the mind. The mind is a powerful thing. It controls the heart but most people don't know that.
° It's okay to be you Yara, she says. The people who love you will work with your shortcomings, not against them.
° - Tell me, David Lisey, what's the meaning of love?
- It's when you can't get someone out. They crawl inside you and they just live there for the rest of your life.
° When you're unhealthy, healthy things are frightening.
° You don't forgive because they deserve it. Most of the time they don't. You forgive to keep your heart soft. To move forward without bitterness. Forgiveness is for you.
° Even to your old age and grey hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have loved you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.
I would definitely recommend this book to someone who's in need of a soul lifting story about love. If you're in a place were you're afraid of love, or holding old resentments, then this is for you.
As I've said before, I can't wait for Tarryn's next work no matter what, her words are my spirit animal.
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